The Waiting Game ......

I discussed earlier that I was "re-diagnosed" with cancer pretty much by accident.  When you have had Stage IV cancer & suspicious nodules show up in your lungs, it is not a huge surprise to hear "your cancer is back".  However, in my situation, I had been doing well.  Hadn't I?  I had remained cancer free longer than expected.  I am still good.  Right?

Wrong.

From July 11 - November 23, 2014, we knew there were foreign bodies growing inside me and we assumed they were cancer cells, but what type?  Is the receptor status the same as before?  Was this a brand new primary cancer, maybe lung cancer (versus breast cancer that has spread to the lungs)?  So many questions.... Know what answers the doctors gave me?  Let's wait.  For 4, FOUR flippin' months, the doctors suggested we wait.  Don't do anything.  Should I start exercising more to build up tolerance?  Should I rest more to save my strength?  Nope.  Do nothing different.  Just wait.  

I have never had anything more frustrating and nerve racking than being told to "just wait".  This should not have been breaking news to me (hey, I know me and I like me) but I am a horrible "just wait" kind of person.  

But wait I did.  From July 11 til the day before Thanksgiving 2014.  During that time, I took vacations.  I worked.  I had fun with friends.  I prayed.  I kept hoping with each scan that somehow this would be a bad dream and the identified nodules would be gone.  One of the larger nodules was near the outside of the lung (relatively easily accessible) and could be reached for a needle biopsy.  

They were not gone.  And 2 minutes before Thanksgiving dinner (for my family, the night before-Thanksgiving-dinner), we got the call:  pathology is back.  Breast cancer that has metastasized into my lungs.  

I have cancer.  Again.  

How I discovered the recurrence - - and my firm belief that divine intervention is real

How this new round started:  I guess it is ok to publicly say that I work for IBM (though all tweets & every other thought is my own!).  I travel.  I travel a lot... sometimes every week.  So this past summer, I was in Austin, Texas for meetings and was awaken with the sharpest imaginable pain.  I thought I was possibly having an appendicitis attack - it was that bad.  I was in a hotel, in a new city and almost called 911.  But I didn't.  I made it home.

When I arrived home the next day, the pain didn't really go away.  Because I am the healthiest stage IV cancer patient ever, I do not have a PCP (primary care physician for you amateurs! :) )  I called the local urgent care who told me they did not have MRI/CT capability, only x-ray so I should consider going to the hospital emergency room.  Instead, I called my then (not now; blog for another day on "how to choose your best medical team") oncologist.  He was able to get my scheduled for a CT scan right away.

Good news!  My appendix looked great!  However, the abdomen/pelvic CT goes up high enough to get a "free peek" at the lower lungs.  Bad news!  There were 3 identifiable nodules that looked like metastatic recurrence of my prior breast cancer.

And so it begins....... Again............

The next week was a PET scan which is able to view the entire body.  The 3 nodules now appear to be 7, maybe 8.  Nodules, by definition, are smaller than tumors; less than 1 cm.  But still, 7 or 8 of them (in both lungs, by the way), is not very reassuring.

We had to go through the difficult conversations of telling friends and family that we have to fight this....... Again..........

But the real good news?? Since that day, my so-called appendix has been pain free.  I mean completely. pain. free.  What caused the pain that took me into the doctor that saw the "free peek" that, blah, blah, de blah...?? Why yes, I do believe that it was fate, and that God played a part in creating a pain so severe that I got off my slack butt and had a scan that I was 9+ months overdue for.  If prayer can get me re-diagnosed at the right time, prayer can heal me and inspire my doctors on the right course of treatment.  Yes, I fully believe that.

"It" is back... and so is my blog

Ok - here is the background.  I was first diagnosed with cancer in 2006.  I finished my initial round(s) of treatment & surgeries by late 2007.  I did some moderate follow-up (as suggested by the team of doctors) for several years.... and in (I think) 2011, I decided I wanted to start this blog to share my experience with others.  I quickly learned that (1) - I have a lot to say and am not a bad writer; but (2) - I hate talking about cancer almost as much as I hated going through the process.

Fast forward:  mid-2014.  Cancer is back.  I will go through how I discovered this (by total accident) but now I am convinced than ever that I have a story to share.  So, blog revived.  Here I go..............